Not I, But Christ

The culmination of the past month has left me feeling utterly on the verge of failure. But my prospects are brighter than ever. Is that strange? I know that if my sleep habits continue like they have the past 10 years, I will not have a job, and therefore no income. I am counting on myself to change. Nay, God to be my change. I have to wake up everyday at 7 now. That is a new thing for me, and will give me and chance to be productive in this life. I believe that spirituality and discipline are closely related things, and that one directly influences the other. But the change is not me. And that is my point.

The change in me has been profound. It has changed the way I view the world. It has changed how I approach conflict. It changes how I spend my time. Every waking second is wrought with purpose. I may not always be actualizing that purpose, or feel like I am, but nevertheless it stays constant. Why? Despite having recently dug myself outside of a financial hole, and then quit my job, I feel confident. Am I foolish? Is it blind faith? I have no doubts. It is not blind. I have deep, rooted reasons for believing in what I believe, because we as humans were made with an instinct for life to have meaning. It does not work to artificially create meaning as we go, as one would try with humanism. No, life must have inherent meaning. But you have to go to the source. And it must be genuine. You have to want to know God, not just the benefits of knowing God.

And that's all I have to say about that. :) God Bless.