Observing the Church Crowd

Tonight, I had the pleasure of being a first-time guest to the "Music Major Bible Study," which meets at 7PM on Sundays. Usually I cannot attend at this time, but tonight my jazz combo cancelled rehearsal, therby enabling me to go. It was an interesting night, and contained its awkward moments as well of passing moments of nostalgia for my former years when I had a stronger faith. I approached the study with an aire of skepticism, but openness to what was being said.

The passage that we studied was Ezekiel chapter 33, verses 1 to 11. It covered the responsibilities of a Watchman, keeping watch over city walls to sound a trumpet if he spotted any trouble. Then, Ezekiel ordered the wathman to warn evil-doers to turn from their transgressions and turn back to God. One noted that the Watchman had the responsibility of warning these people. Basically if the Watchman didn't warn the evil-doers of their wicked ways, he would have their blood on his hands. Verse 11 contained a brief note of hope, exclaiming that God wishes that no evil-doer should perish, but turn to him, saying, "Why should you die, O house of Israel?"

My first reaction as a skeptic was to think of the typical Christian response to such a passage - taking it as a call to witness to non-believers. Such a dogmatic Christian would take these verses quite literally, and feel that anyone that they didn't tell about Jesus would mean punishment for themselves. And sure enough, the people in the group started discussing this very issue - being responsible for telling everyone about God.

Johnathan, the bible study leader, had us read Matthew 7:1-5, and Luke 6:36-42. Both gospel passages deal with the issue of judging, and warn, "Do not judge, lest you be judged." And then, they advised to not worry about the speck in your brother's eye, but first remove the plank from your own eye.

Firstly, this seemed contradictory. On one hand, we are to preach the gospel to those "sinners" and try and get them saved, and on the other, we can't judge them, or condemn them. The bible study group's solution? When you confront someone, confront them with love, and not condemnation. They cited the example of the famed "Commons Preacher," who had made an appearance at JMU, and basically preached hate and condemnation to all JMU students, including many Christian organizations. They said that contrary to his example of preaching without hope, Christians should preach love and acceptance. I found it ironic that one had to judge someone to be a non-Christian in order to not "judge" them.

As for the approach to judge one's brother, which we all assumed meant brother-in-Christ, Ann brought up Galatians 6:1-2 - talking about how to approach a brother caught in a trespass. I did appreciate this verse, as it mentioned, "restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted." So the group consensus on this one was basically: judge. But, only as long as you first examine yourself, and also do it in a spirit of love.

After this Ann made the point that both faith and works are needed in a Christian walk, that is, preaching the gospel and walking the walk are both necessary, and without one, the Christian life isn't complete. On the one hand, if a Christian preaches to a non-believer, and he himself lives in sin, he is a hypocrite. On the other hand, the one who doesn't preach at all is wrong, because, "faith comes from hearing and hearing from the word of God." People won't believe if they don't hear the gospel. Ann went on to say that we must confront others, and that Christianity in and of itself is not well-received, and even combative to the way the world thinks. The spirit of God needs to move in a person for them to either 1) believe in God, or 2) repent of their sin.

This pretty much concluded the study. Main points were - we need to witness, we need to show love and compassion and not condemn others, as it we are building ourselves up, and that we shouldn't preach in such a way that we judge. Contrarily, we should be bold with preaching the truth, and trust God to do the work for us, as in softing people's hearts and what not.

Some of the rhetoric and groupthink of this Bible Study really turned me off to the whole Christianity thing. What the hell kind of a passage is Ezekiel 33, telling us that we need to preach to non-believers to avoid punishment and "blood on our hands"? Actually, reading the passage, one notes that the Watchman is referred to as the Son of Man, interestingly enough, the same title Jesus gave himself in the gospels! Which means it probably isn't talking about regular-old Christians. The deeper meaning could be - Christ is the watchman, and warns the world of God's wrath by living, preaching, healing, and eventually sacrificing himself for our sins. Who's to say this passage isn't talking about Jesus? I didn't like the fact that the assumed evangelical mindset was immediately gleamed from this passage.

My second beef was this: the Bible says, "Do not judge." Period. They worked around that, saying, "oh, you can judge if you judge with love, or confront with gentleness..." Bullshit. If you make a judgment call, you are judging. If you think in your mind, "this person is a non-believer," you are judging. So, avoid all the trouble, and don't judge! Even if somebody is "sinning" according to your righteous standard (which, on another note, is inherently flawed), you have no right to correct them. What about "restoring them in gentleness?" You shouldn't have to tell somebody that they're wrong. Lift one another up in prayer and edification. If they're convicted, they're convicted. There's no need to confront someone directly about their apparent "sin."

Our concept of sin is flawed. I believe sin is in the heart. All humans can see is action, or externals. We see at best surface level stuff which may or may not be evidence of sin in the heart. Christians simplify sin of the heart to be pride. I see some merit to this way of thinking, because it seems to flow well logically. So, If I judge another's heart based on their outward actions, it is wrong. God must confront and convict a person's heart. That is why we shouldn't judge.

Now, to the concept of preaching. We should preach the gospel, the good news to people. Tell others about the love of God, not some 5 point "how to get saved" brochure. Sincerity should preceed preaching. Always. If you couldn't care less about the person you're talking to, don't talk to them! And especially don't act like you care when you don't! And don't play some fucking mind game to convince yourself that you really do care about them when you don't. Simply, love. If you learn to love first, everything else will fall in line.

And about Jesus' sermon about not searching for the speck in your brother's eye - his point was obvious. There is so much we need to address about our own sin, that our concern for the sins of others is mere stupidity. The point is to not go searching for the sins of others. I heard a wise man once say that if you search for the best in a person, they will be their best around you, and it will bring out the best in you. If you search for the negative in people, nit picking to no end, then how is it not judging, just like the pharisees?

Does the "truth of Christianity" offend the world? I can see why it would. I don't like to hear about the fact that I'm a sinner and going to Hell. But I would very much like to hear about God's love to me, and see someone live out love and show me love rather than hear the same sermons pounded in my ears time after time. I have several close friends who are Christians, and all of them have shown me considerable love. This is why I'm being drawn back to Christianity, not because some country-bumpkin decided that it was best for his soul to avoid punishment by preaching to me!

Lastly, on the "Truth of Christianity": I live by faith. I don't know anything to be true. I don't know God exists. At least in the sense of being able to prove it. Do I feel God exists? Yes. But there isn't certainty. Is it likely God exists? Very. But it isn't necessarily true from the get-go. When someone says "we need to preach the truth," or "the bible is truth," I immediately replace their words with, "this is what I believe to be truth." Who is someone to tell me what is or isn't true? There are some things in this life we can know for certain. God isn't one of them. Religioun isn't one of them. Salvation isn't one of them. I stick to my guns, I offend all that stick to conventional roots, stepping on many toes as I pass my way. But when someone tries to explain how they "know" God is real, when their very salvation is based on faith, I lose all interest in cheap, church-culture-influenced mind games.

I resort to believe in spreading love and kindness, and trying to be a better person. Not trying to point the finger at anyone else, as that would be a travesty.

Changes

Times have changed. And so have I. I have not been a Christian for about a year now. I have been living a life of freedom from the cheap bondage of religious mind games and stupid tendencies to judge and point the finger at others. Having lived free and sinfully for a while now, I have decided that I have had my fun, and am returning to the faith. The following posts will document my journey back to God, and many of my qualms with the church and with the Christian life in which I was brought up.

My main complaint was a lack of love in the Church. There is a lot of cheap charity. Charity was used as a synonym for love in the King James translation of the bible. But the modern words are different. People engage in charity for many reasons. Some are genuine. If anyone else is like me, they want to do good things to feel better about themselves. This latter attitude is what I feel has infiltrated the church and made it stagnant and repulsive to my taste. But isn't taste subjective? Some things are, and will always be, disgusting, no matter how much salt you add to the recipe.

So life begins. A new chapter unfolds, and this time, something is really "new." My transition back to Christianity has thus far been uneventful and emotionally vacant. But this is not that surprising, but rather welcomed, as I wish to avoid using the religion of Christianity as a tool to feel better about life, rather than a worldview through which to view life, and even more, a relationship with my personally ascribed elusive God. Some people say that they can hear God speak to them. I am not blessed in this aspect, and must seek God out the hard and difficult way. Perhaps my words can be comfort to others who lack the religiousness to live the rigid, conventional Christian life.